Ultrasound

We just had our 20 week ultrasound and it wasn't quite what I was expecting. I prayed last night that God would help it to go smoothly and would help to stop my worries and fears. Well, He did.... Just not in the way I was expecting.

Miles went to bed a little late the night before and slept in an extra hour. Now, if you know me well you would know that I am so weird about being late, so an extra hour of not being able to get ready or eat or do normal morning things already gave me stress.....BUT it turned out so well. I drank my juice and water and got ready for the whole "full bladder" thing that the airforce doctors demand for some unseen reason. I got Miles ready and myself ready, made breakfast, and got out of the house in perfect time to meet my mother-in-law outside of the gate and drive to the hospital. 

I think I will quickly mention that I had TONS of stress over all of this. I had to have someone who could sit with Miles while I had the beginning of my ultrasound. And between worrying if my mother-in-law could come (which we didn't even intend her to watch Miles when we invited her... We just wanted her to get the chance to see the baby too) and if Carl would be able to switch patients around so he could come I felt like a crazy woman who wanted to call and invite the whole world just incase no one came.  Then there was the worrying that the whole thing would be rescheduled if my bladder wasn't full enough and we'd have to do it again. It was a super stressful few days before the appointment. I felt so stressed that I wasn't even half as excited for this ultrasound as I should have been. 

Turns out we were perfectly 15 min early, the exact time they tell you to come in at. I felt nervous for the ultrasound but was mostly worried that Miles would be a horrible kid while my mother-in-law watched him. I was worried about him being naughty with no mom or dad around to make him be the quiet, sweet boy he usually is. 

I got to the counter and the behind-the-desk lady said I could go into the small waitingroom back in the radiology department but my son and family had to wait out here. Welcome to mommy stress. I sat Miles down and told him that mommy was going to see pictures of baby brother or sister and that he could play his games with grandma (we had discussed this at least 5 times that morning, so he was mostly used to the idea). He cried while I walked away and although I knew he would be fine and that grandma was more than qualified to handle whatever he did, I still felt a bit of guilt and worry. 

I followed what directions I thought I remembered the desk lady saying and found a "waiting room" that consisted of 6 chairs. The room was smaller than my bathroom. 4 people were sitting, knees almost touching, and another man was standing.... This should have been a sign. I should have seen this as a bad thing and realized how busy they must have been; instead I figured that they must be waiting for x-rays or ct scans (both of which were located next to this waiting room). 

I ended up waiting for an hour.  That was 45 min past my appt time. The whole time I was sitting there I wondered if I followed the wrong directions, if Miles was even behaving or was screaming and being naughty( not that he ever does that, but there is a first time for everything), and if Carl was even going to make this appt since he only had an hour off and 45 min of it was wasted with me not even getting my ultrasound. I was furious, sad, nervous, and so many other emotions. I felt like screaming at someone and at the same time felt like crying for days (yeah, we can chalk those feelings up to pregnancy hormones). 

Eventually I get called back and was informed that 2 techs didn't come to work for some reason and that they were really behind. Thank goodness the tech I had was super nice, so I didn't bite her head off or cry on her shoulder. She brought me in and took a quick picture and then let me use the restroom. Remember me mentioning the whole full bladder thing? Yeah... Waiting an extra 45 min was not a great thing to do to a pregnant woman with a full bladder. 

Baby was a such a trooper. I think the baby slept the whole time and the tech got all the pictures in 20 minutes. When we did the ultrasound for miles, he moved all over... We have one good picture of his profile. He just didn't want to show us the side of his face. This baby held really still and I got to see a bunch of the baby's face, while the tech moved around the wand and found whatever mysterious thing she was searching for. It was sweet. 

The tech finally let the family come back (why the family can't be there the whole time, I'll never understand) and Miles started crying. He seems to do that everytime he sees me after I'm gone. I'm convinced it is to make me feel so guilty I never leave him again. He stops crying after a minute or two and the tech shows us the baby again. Carl sees the baby for a minute and then has to rush upstairs for his next patient (he was already 10 minutes late!). The tech takes that as a sign that we are all finished looking at the baby and wraps up.

My supposed to be 45 minute appointment, filled with great pictures and memories, with my family looking at our little miracle, and Carl and I getting to see our baby for the last time was not any of that. It was short, rushed, and not at all what I wanted. I feel cheated. With the ultrasound of Miles, Carl was in the room the whole time and we got to be in awe of the little baby I was growing. We had a long time to just bask in glow of seeing our baby move, suck his thumb, and kick. It was amazing. It felt like we were seeing a miracle in real time. This ultrasound felt like the tech was late and hurried and us seeing the baby wasn't even a consideration. The tech was there to take the pictures of the baby's heart, head, organs, and to measure my fluid. It wasn't about seeing my miracle. It was about hurrying to get the pictures taken so the next patient could be brought in. 

I feel cheated. 

After our appointment was finished, Miles and I waited for Carl to finish his late appointment and we all ate lunch. I came home, uploaded the pictures the tech gave me to my computer, and felt so tired. After all the stress and worry, it was over and now I got to play the waiting game to hear from my doc how my baby was doing. 

I didn't have to wait long. 

Here are two pics that the tech took of little peanut: 

My doctor called that evening and said that our baby was growing well. Baby Bryce was doing good.............. But this baby has an echogenic focus. Just like Miles. My doctor started to explain about it, but I told him we had already been through this with Miles and I didn't have any questions. 

I guess we now get another ultrasound with a specialist and I get to set up and worry and stress all over again. Let's hope this next ultrasound goes better. 

34 week visit

Yesterday I had my 34 week appointment and wanted to update everyone on how we're doing.

- Miles is still measuring 2 weeks bigger than he should. My fundal height (if you don't know what that is, click here and read about it) is 36 which is a little bigger than it should be, but they say it is ok if it is within 2 weeks of how many weeks you are pregnant. That means that we are just barely measuring where we should.

- I am still gaining weight like I should... a pound a week. I am up to 10 lbs gained so far, so if I continue like this I will have gained about 16 lbs in all (which is perfect for my body and the baby).

- Miles' little heart beat is going strong.

- I have now graduated to appointments EVERY week. This is one of the big signs that he will be here so soon!

- Miles is moving and I think a little squished in there because sometimes I feel him stretch out and, although it hurts a bit, I still feel bad for my big baby in my little body.

- He no longer likes to move for Carl- or anyone for that matter. He now gets super shy whenever anyone touches my belly. If you want to feel him move, you have to be super patient and wait him out. He eventually forgets your hand is there and starts to move again... but you have to just wait patiently without moving your hand to feel the crazy things he does.

-Miles gets the hiccups at least every other day. It is so funny to feel him lightly bouncing with every hiccup. I don't think he likes them very much because every time he has them for more than a few minutes, he stretches out and moves around.

- Only 6 more weeks to go!

7 months today!

I had another pregnancy visit and thought I would update all of you!

- I gained another 2 lbs in the last 2 weeks and am up to +7 lbs for this pregnancy.

-Miles is no longer measuring SUPER big. He is only a little bigger than he should be... measuring 34 cm at 31 weeks.

-Margot recommends that, as of now, we don't need another ultrasound to check for growth!

-Margot is very confident that Miles is head down. She felt my belly and said that at that moment, he was facing my spine with his head down... perfect position!

-I am officially having trouble sleeping. I can't get comfortable at night. My hips ache as soon as I lay down and no amount of pillows between my legs help.

-I have started sleeping on my back with a little pillow under one hip. This is the only way to relieve the pressure from my hips, but causes mega back pain when I wake up because my spine is curved funny all night long.

-The baby shower is less than 2 weeks away and I can't wait to see family and friends.... just don't be too surprised at the belly size... it is big!

speaking of belly... here it is!

To sum it up, everything is going really well. I am so excited for the baby shower... it is all I think about. Carl is doing good in school and keeping busy. I make sure he has a good breakfast, lunch, and dinner... but I don't mind. It is nice to be able to help him and know that all the house stuff is getting done. My home binder is doing well too... planning the meals ahead of time and shopping on Monday for the whole week is really working out! Soooo.... everything is great! I feel good...although I am feeling huge and am now sporing a few stretch marks on the bottom of my belly :(  and needing naps due to lack of nighttime sleep.

29 Week Check-up

Today I had my 29 week check up and am officially going to be going every 2 weeks now. It is crazy to think that I am far enough along to have to go in every 2 weeks instead of every month. SOOO here are the highlights of the visit and what's new (I'll try to keep it brief)

-I have gained 1 lb in the last 2 weeks... that brings me up to gaining 5 lbs total for this pregnancy.

- My sugar level was 87 today so I don't have to do the 3 hour glucose test and am healthy! No diabetes here!

-Miles is STILL measuring big... about 3 weeks further than he should.

-IF he is still measuring big, I will have to get another ultrasound in another month or two to check his weight gain to see if I need to be induced early or given a c-section (we are going to try to avoid both of those options).

-Miles is still moving A TON! He moves almost all day- kicking, punching, elbowing, or rolling. He does it all and I have only a little idea of what his movements actually are.

- I have started a "home planning binder". I made the binder have a tab where you plan out your meals for the week, so on Sunday I plan the meals and on Monday I shop for the groceries. Then I don't have to worry about what to make all week or if we have the ingredients because I have them all on hand. It seems to be working and is really easy. The binder also keeps track of other stuff, like what I need to do today, weekly chores, shopping lists, freezer and pantry inventory, and a place to put our bills so they don't get lost.

- I am getting more and more excited to see our son.... I just can't wait to see what he looks like and his personality.

-Carl started his rotations with pediatrics yesterday and got to hold a 9 hour old baby girl this morning. I am so jealous... but doing this is making him more excited to hold Miles.

Everything is going great for us. We are just adjusting to Carl being in rotations -he is really busy and only gets one day off a week instead of the whole weekend. I am trying to be more organized so that when Miles does get here, I have a system in place to keep our home running. The binder seems to be working, but we'll see how long I actually like using it :) Also, I am still working on my baby shower decorations and am having a hard time finding the motivation to actually sit down and do them. I hope to find that motivation sometime soon but I know it will all get done before May 21.

pregnancy update- officially 6 months!

I am officially 6 months pregnant. Since Sunday, I am in my third trimester! It has gone by so fast. I can't believe that Miles will be here in 3 more months. I will officially be a mom in 3 more months. It is so strange to think that I will FOREVER be mom to another person. Sooooo, here's an update on how things are going:

~I had the monthly doc appt last Tuesday. This was the first time I had to go alone! I got there right on time, waited for about 15 minutes in the waiting room with a little boy who REALLY needed a diaper change, but who's dad must not be able to smell... why does being pregnant mean I have to smell everything??? It was not fun.

~ I have officially gained weight in my pregnancy. I think Miles makes me want to eat like a teenage boy, even though I do not have the metabolism of that teenage boy. He makes me hungry all the time! Anyway, I have *gasp* gained 6 pounds since my last visit! AAAAAAAA!!!! I couldn't believe it.. maybe the scale was just off that day or something (hey, I bet you tell yourself the same thing when you gain weight). That leaves me with a total weight gain of 4 pounds. Yup, I have gained 4 pounds in the 6 months I have been pregnant.

~When I finally met with Margot, she asked me how I felt about those 6 pounds and, after hearing what I am sure she hears often about me not liking it at all, she reassured me and reminded me that this means my body has actually lost about 10 pounds so far and is healthy. I know... I know.... I have talked a LOT about weight gain but after struggling with weight since forever, it is hard to just be happy with or even just ok with gaining ANY weight. It is easier I guess to just vent it all away on the blog.

~My belly was measured and is the perfect size! Margot says that I am a textbook pregnant woman. Miles measures perfectly for the weeks I am and is growing great.

~I got to hear his heartbeat again, which was really neat... his heart is strong and because of the tool they use to hear it, sounds kind of like a really fast closing door.

~Miles officially wakes me up with his morning kicks. If he senses that I might be awake or getting close to waking up, he kicks and pushes me so much that I have to wake up. He is so strong! He is getting close to actually hurting me. It is no longer little flutters or soft pushes... he kicks and moves enough to actually distort my belly.

~Miles is the most active right when I wake up and right when I lay down for sleep. Those are the times he uses all his energy to kick me really hard... otherwise he just lightly pushes me throughout the day.

~He doesn't like to kick for anyone but Carl. If you feel him kick, consider yourself lucky because even if he is moving a ton, as soon as someone puts their hand on my belly he stops moving... BUT when it is Carl, even if Miles is sleeping, when his hand touches my belly and he talks to my belly Miles wakes up just to kick his dad.

~I am loving being pregnant. It is really fun and exciting.... although I hear that the last 3 months are the worst part. I can't really imagine anything being worse than the first 3, but we'll see!

~I will try to take and post my 6 month belly pics soon, but be warned.... my belly is getting SO big... I can't imagine it any bigger and I still have 3 more months of growing baby to accommodate!

February Visit

Last night Carl and I were bored and decided to play a game together. We played Mastermind... It was so fun! When it was my turn to hide the pattern and Carl's turn to figure it out, I laughed SO hard.... he would think out loud and some of the stuff he came up with was great. We had so much fun and played for about 2 hours!

Today, we had another CNM visit and just wanted to quickly write about how it went. I guess they installed a new way of booking patients, and they OVERBOOK one slot in the morning and afternoon. That means that when Carl and I got there, they were already really behind... so behind that we waited an hour to be seen. A WHOLE HOUR!!! We live in a tiny town and scheduled our appt for 10:30 on a Tuesday. I can't imagine how bad it is in the afternoon/early evening.

When we got back there, I was weighed and have lost another 2 lbs this month. That is a total of 6 lbs lost. When my midwife came in, she said that it hasn't been a big deal and as long as I am eating healthy and not starving, then it is all ok (then she made a little side note note that this weight loss actually results in me losing about 10 lbs and the baby stuff making up the difference).

We listened to the baby's heart and talked about going to Phoenix on Friday. The CNM suggested the regular: take breaks, move your feet, walk around, and don't be surprised if your feet swell.

I look forward to visiting family and meeting my niece... but am not really excited for swollen feet... well, I guess we'll see how it goes :)

Another Monthly Visit... warning, it's a bit long

Today Carl and I had another monthly doc visit.... I guess it is more of a monthly certified nurse midwife (CNM) visit :) It was for 10:30 and went REALLY well! I think the hardest part of an early appt is they make you pee in a cup EVERY TIME you visit, and who always needs to pee?I'm sure it will get so much easier later, but I normally don't drink a lot in the morning (you could say an older teaching/ student habit where you couldn't really go use the restroom in the morning, so you just don't drink as much). Other than that, having an early appt is nice! We had the waiting room to ourselves and just talked while we waited:)

When we got called back, they always have me stand on the scale... now is it just me ladies, or is that a kind of torture for us? Anyway... I have dreaded the moment of actually seeing what I weigh (because they ask you later, so I can't just close my eyes and be oblivious to whatever it may say) especially since the holidays are over.... I could only imagine how much extra weight I gained in the 2 1/2 weeks I was in Farmington and my mom cooked such great food for us... ok, ok, it wasn't just the food but the goodies!! So much chocolate and everything and I was FINALLY feeling good, so I indulged a little.

Well... when I finally got on that scale, I saw that I had actually LOST 4 lbs since our first visit and 1 lb since our last visit 4 weeks ago! YEAH!!!!! I am so glad. I actually worried and had talked myself into being ok with gaining back a few pounds, but I am so happy (and in case you were wondering, YES my CNM is totally ok with my weight so far).

After our weigh in, I was brought back into a room and met with our CNM. Our CNM is so nice and her name is Margot (just like my aunt!). She is always so knowledgeable and willing to talk about ANY concerns I have. It is so nice! She doesn't just talk to me though, she will look at Carl and explain things in a medical term since she knows he is in med school. She really knows what she is doing and makes me feel like being pregnant is so natural and that what I am feeling and experiencing is totally normal (the first visit she asked me if I felt nauseous or tired, when I replied yes she said, "good...I don't trust ladies who experience no pregnancy symptoms." She just makes me laugh and it is nice to have someone you trust.

While we were there, we got to hear the babies heartbeat. It was so neat! We had heard it a few months ago, but only for a few seconds and with a terrible ultrasound. The last appt we went to Margot couldn't find the baby (he/she was hiding somewhere so we didn't hear anything). Today we were able to get a GOOD listen at the baby and it was nice to know that everything is still going so well.

On a TOTAL side note, here is what Carl did today after our appt and after we ate lunch... I sat on the couch and read and he......

slept! LOL

He was so tired from studying that he took almost a 2 hour nap!! Isn't he cute?!