January 28, 2014

Echogenic ultrasound

This ultrasound was so different. It reminded me a lot of the ultrasounds I recieved with Miles.

We invited 2 sets of our parents and had a packed room! The policy was that everyone could come back at the start and that even Miles was welcome to hang out while we did the whole scan. 

Seems like it is my lot in life to have every appt be around 45 minutes to an hour late, and this ultrasound was no different. My appointment was at 3:30 and we didn't see the tech until about 4:20. At least this time we waited in an exam room with the whole family, so we got to hang out and chat while we waited. 

Carl and I had decided that we didn't want to know the sex of the baby and our parents were joking that they wanted to know and there were 4 of them, so we were out numbered. We needed to find out and they told the tech that, jokingly, when she asked. 

We got set up and as soon as the probe touched my belly, we saw the baby was sitting with the legs by his/her ears. Effectively my baby was mooning us and telling us that it didn't matter if we wanted to know the sex or not, he/she was going to show us. Carl and I had gone back and forth all weekend about finding out and had decided that if the baby wanted us to know or if the tech slipped and we saw, then it must just be God's will. So, after a quick glimpse, the whole room knew and the tech asked if we wanted her to double check. We said sure (because how could she even finish the scan of the baby and the heart when his/her little bum was on top of everything). 

After all of that, the tech quickly found that we are having another boy! 

It was so fun to have 2 sets of grandparents in the room with us when my baby decided to let us know that, although Miles has been calling my belly baby sister, we now had to make sure he started calling it baby brother. Carl and I are excited. Seems like it would have been nice to have a boy and a girl, but I love knowing that Miles is going to have a friend for life. He will forever have a little brother who he can grow and share all of life with. 

Also, as my mom pointed out, my mom's side of the family doesn't have many boys. Boys are precious and I am the only one so far to have 2 of them. That makes me lucky and that makes this little boy so loved already. 

Our little boy is doing so well and is growing great. His echogenic focus should go away on its own and his heart is pumping blood great. We really have nothing to worry about and are just so glad that he is healthy. 

January 23, 2014


Miles has started doing a few things that surprise me. He has always loved to read, but lately he has been bringing me book after book. It's like he can't get enough. I counted and we have over 150 books for him to read and he has read all of them multiple times. 

This brings me to my small story. Yesterday we were playing outside (it was 70 degrees here!) and he saw a piece of brown lint/grass. 

                  Here it is- his "moth"

He saw it and called it a moth. Then he pointed to his mouth and said mouth. I wasn't really sure where he was going with the whole moth in the mouth thing so I told him that we don't eat moths. They are yucky. 

He then went inside and was making a bunch of noise. After a few minutes he came out holding this book. 
We haven't read this book in a few months; although we did read it each night before bed for 3 weeks the last time we did read it. 

He opens to this page:
He tells me moth frog mouth. Num num num.

I was blown away. #1-He actually remembers that we read this book months ago.  #2- he made the connection between the "moth" and that frogs eat them. #3-he knew right where to look to make me understand what he was trying to say. 

He is really starting to grow up. He remembers the books we read and will "read" them to himself later. He is actually very good at recalling specific details of the books. I think he remembers more than most of the second graders I taught. 

He also has found ways to tell me about other connections he has made. Two days ago we ate lunch with Carl and saw smoke coming out of the smoke stacks on the top of the hospital. He said mommy, smoke! And pointed to it. Then he said Mommy, Miles go Grandma Joni's, smoke. He remembered the BIG smoke stacks we saw in Page, AZ. He keeps amazing me with the thigs he remembers. 

January 16, 2014


We just had our 20 week ultrasound and it wasn't quite what I was expecting. I prayed last night that God would help it to go smoothly and would help to stop my worries and fears. Well, He did.... Just not in the way I was expecting.

Miles went to bed a little late the night before and slept in an extra hour. Now, if you know me well you would know that I am so weird about being late, so an extra hour of not being able to get ready or eat or do normal morning things already gave me stress.....BUT it turned out so well. I drank my juice and water and got ready for the whole "full bladder" thing that the airforce doctors demand for some unseen reason. I got Miles ready and myself ready, made breakfast, and got out of the house in perfect time to meet my mother-in-law outside of the gate and drive to the hospital. 

I think I will quickly mention that I had TONS of stress over all of this. I had to have someone who could sit with Miles while I had the beginning of my ultrasound. And between worrying if my mother-in-law could come (which we didn't even intend her to watch Miles when we invited her... We just wanted her to get the chance to see the baby too) and if Carl would be able to switch patients around so he could come I felt like a crazy woman who wanted to call and invite the whole world just incase no one came.  Then there was the worrying that the whole thing would be rescheduled if my bladder wasn't full enough and we'd have to do it again. It was a super stressful few days before the appointment. I felt so stressed that I wasn't even half as excited for this ultrasound as I should have been. 

Turns out we were perfectly 15 min early, the exact time they tell you to come in at. I felt nervous for the ultrasound but was mostly worried that Miles would be a horrible kid while my mother-in-law watched him. I was worried about him being naughty with no mom or dad around to make him be the quiet, sweet boy he usually is. 

I got to the counter and the behind-the-desk lady said I could go into the small waitingroom back in the radiology department but my son and family had to wait out here. Welcome to mommy stress. I sat Miles down and told him that mommy was going to see pictures of baby brother or sister and that he could play his games with grandma (we had discussed this at least 5 times that morning, so he was mostly used to the idea). He cried while I walked away and although I knew he would be fine and that grandma was more than qualified to handle whatever he did, I still felt a bit of guilt and worry. 

I followed what directions I thought I remembered the desk lady saying and found a "waiting room" that consisted of 6 chairs. The room was smaller than my bathroom. 4 people were sitting, knees almost touching, and another man was standing.... This should have been a sign. I should have seen this as a bad thing and realized how busy they must have been; instead I figured that they must be waiting for x-rays or ct scans (both of which were located next to this waiting room). 

I ended up waiting for an hour.  That was 45 min past my appt time. The whole time I was sitting there I wondered if I followed the wrong directions, if Miles was even behaving or was screaming and being naughty( not that he ever does that, but there is a first time for everything), and if Carl was even going to make this appt since he only had an hour off and 45 min of it was wasted with me not even getting my ultrasound. I was furious, sad, nervous, and so many other emotions. I felt like screaming at someone and at the same time felt like crying for days (yeah, we can chalk those feelings up to pregnancy hormones). 

Eventually I get called back and was informed that 2 techs didn't come to work for some reason and that they were really behind. Thank goodness the tech I had was super nice, so I didn't bite her head off or cry on her shoulder. She brought me in and took a quick picture and then let me use the restroom. Remember me mentioning the whole full bladder thing? Yeah... Waiting an extra 45 min was not a great thing to do to a pregnant woman with a full bladder. 

Baby was a such a trooper. I think the baby slept the whole time and the tech got all the pictures in 20 minutes. When we did the ultrasound for miles, he moved all over... We have one good picture of his profile. He just didn't want to show us the side of his face. This baby held really still and I got to see a bunch of the baby's face, while the tech moved around the wand and found whatever mysterious thing she was searching for. It was sweet. 

The tech finally let the family come back (why the family can't be there the whole time, I'll never understand) and Miles started crying. He seems to do that everytime he sees me after I'm gone. I'm convinced it is to make me feel so guilty I never leave him again. He stops crying after a minute or two and the tech shows us the baby again. Carl sees the baby for a minute and then has to rush upstairs for his next patient (he was already 10 minutes late!). The tech takes that as a sign that we are all finished looking at the baby and wraps up.

My supposed to be 45 minute appointment, filled with great pictures and memories, with my family looking at our little miracle, and Carl and I getting to see our baby for the last time was not any of that. It was short, rushed, and not at all what I wanted. I feel cheated. With the ultrasound of Miles, Carl was in the room the whole time and we got to be in awe of the little baby I was growing. We had a long time to just bask in glow of seeing our baby move, suck his thumb, and kick. It was amazing. It felt like we were seeing a miracle in real time. This ultrasound felt like the tech was late and hurried and us seeing the baby wasn't even a consideration. The tech was there to take the pictures of the baby's heart, head, organs, and to measure my fluid. It wasn't about seeing my miracle. It was about hurrying to get the pictures taken so the next patient could be brought in. 

I feel cheated. 

After our appointment was finished, Miles and I waited for Carl to finish his late appointment and we all ate lunch. I came home, uploaded the pictures the tech gave me to my computer, and felt so tired. After all the stress and worry, it was over and now I got to play the waiting game to hear from my doc how my baby was doing. 

I didn't have to wait long. 

Here are two pics that the tech took of little peanut: 

My doctor called that evening and said that our baby was growing well. Baby Bryce was doing good.............. But this baby has an echogenic focus. Just like Miles. My doctor started to explain about it, but I told him we had already been through this with Miles and I didn't have any questions. 

I guess we now get another ultrasound with a specialist and I get to set up and worry and stress all over again. Let's hope this next ultrasound goes better. 

January 13, 2014

20 weeks

I feel like I was so much better at blogging before Miles got this big. Last pregnancy was easy to blog about because I didn't have a toddler running around.

This pregnancy is going well so far. Seems like all the weird pregnancy symptoms are coming earlier this time. I have heartburn already and have it almost every night. With miles there were trigger foods but this time it isn't a certain food, just food in general that gives me heartburn. My hips have already started aching too. Seems like this didn't happen until the third trimester with the last one. 

We have our sizing ultrasound in two days and I am so excited to see baby again. We have the option to see if we are having a boy or girl and I can't decide if I want to know or not. I think it would be great to have it be a surprise but it would also be nice to know and prepare for one or the other. Oh well... I have a feeling we will stick with letting it be a surprise. 

I can't believe I am already half way done with my pregnancy. Seems like it just started and now I am half way there. 

I think about this baby often. I wonder what is going to change and how. I wonder how Miles will do and hope him and this baby will be best friends. I wonder how the next year will go and how it will be with 2 kids and I wonder what this baby looks like. If this baby will take after me or Carl. Miles was such an easy baby, it makes me hope this baby will be too. 

Miles is such a great little guy. He has started saying excuse me and bless you. It is so sweet. He is such a cute boy and just says and does things that make me laugh. This morning he woke up and asked for carrots for breakfast. It was so out of the ordinary for him, but he liked it and ate it all. I am reminded often of how much I love him and how thankful I am for his sweet spirit. 

I can't wait to see what the next few months have to bring and what changes are coming.