Day four- my 16 year old self

#4. List 10 things you would tell your 16 year-old self, if you could.

Man, this is a tough one. I think that 16 is a crazy age. It's full of fun and adventure but still so emotional and hard.

1. Don't worry so much about the friends you make, I promise it all works out.
2. Appreciate living at home, it all ends too soon and then you have to worry about so much more.
3. Tell your parents you love them more. You will be a grown up before you know it.
4. Your life turns out great so don't sweat the small stuff.
5. Don't be too hard on yourself. People make mistakes. It is a way to learn and grow.

I guess that's it... Only 5, but I had a great childhood. There are only a few things I regret from my teen years and a few things that stuck with me but overall it was a good time. There are some things I would tell myself to not do but that is a bit more personal than I'd like to share here. A few things that I wish never happened, but they did shape who I am. It seems like the teen years are so tumultuous. All I know is that those years are something I am glad I never have to repeat.

Day three- my spouse

#3- Describe your relationship with your spouse

This is a complicated and very personal day. Hmm... I guess if I had to summarize my relationship with Carl, I would say we are best friends. That means that we share almost everything- the good, the bad, the scary, the difficult, the wonderful. We share it all.

We tend to be good communicators. We talk about what is bothering us and how we can change it to be better. We have mostly good times and experiences but there have been really hard times between us that stemmed from not communicating and when we went back to talking, we worked it out. I think there will always be times of struggle between us because no one is perfect but I also have faith that we love each other enough to figure out a way to make it work. We have learned, through time, how we should talk and what things we should bring up or let go.

Our relationship is full of laughter and love. One of the reasons I fell in love with Carl was because he made me laugh, a lot. I laughed so much each time we were together and I still laugh. I love that my best friend makes me laugh and is my partner in life.

Another part of our relationship is care and respect. Carl cares about me and my feelings and he respects me enough to listen and try to change something if I'm not happy. I have the same care and respect for him, so it makes for a good relationship. We really make a good team.

Our relationship is one that is built well. We were friends first and had an understanding of each other before we ever had a loving relationship. We had the respect before we had love and I think that has helped us to stay strong.

We have a great marriage full of happiness and love and I am so glad that our love can be grown by Miles and any future children we may have. I consider myself a lucky lady to have Carl by my side as my partner, love, and best friend.

Day two - fears

Day two: Describe 3 legitimate fears you have and explain how they became fears.

I guess fear is a funny thing. It changes as you get older and realize that there are bigger and scarier things than just what's under the bed. I wonder if fear stems from the unknown. I guess I have often feared the unknown. It really is the root to my fears.

#1- My biggest and most interfering on the day to day stuff is my fear of the unknown. When I was baptized as a born-again Christian I was so scared. I had never seen it and had never done it, so when we were counseled about it I had the pastor go through every step. I literally had him walk me in the chapel and show me each step so I wouldn't be as nervous and so I could stop the fear I had. Before I had Miles I talked to tons of people who gave birth and I read tons and tons of books and websites. It made me feel more comfortable with the idea of labor, even though when I look back I realize that nothing could have prepared me for birth :)

#2- I fear Carl leaving me. I guess I fear this most because if it ever happened it would tear apart our family. It would destroy me and change everything. How would I support myself? How could I raise Miles without him by my side? It just makes things so much harder that I fear what life would be without the structure,support, and love that Carl gives to our family.

#3- I fear looking back and wishing I could have been more. I worry I am not enough for the people around me and for myself. I think the stems from the way I grew up. My parents divorced and I think that part of my childhood influenced me before I even understood. I think I wondered if I was enough then and I still wonder that now..... I wonder if I am enough for myself and for others around me.

Day one-20 random facts

Number one on the list says:
20 random facts about myself

So here goes!
1. I am addicted to reading. No really... I think reading is like a drug to me. When I am reading a good book, I think about it all the time and count the minutes to when I can read again.
2. I love nature documentaries. They are so fun to watch.
3. I have a really sensitive heart and feel really sad whenever I have to leave any family. Like barely short of depression sadness.
4. I often wonder what my life would be like if I wasn't so scared of new things.
5. I am afraid of most anything I don't already know about. This ranges from speaking in front of people to jumping into lakes to really scary things like sky diving.
6. I hate buying new shoes. I love shoes but I hate having to break in new ones.
7. I have a new love for coffee. It is my one break in the morning that I allow myself some me time. It isn't really the coffee, it's more the warm drink in my hand and the time to myself that I love.
8. Every time I go into a bookstore I have the random urge to go to the bathroom. It's weird, but true. Carl makes fun of me every time we venture into one.
9. I love to make jello cake for the 4th of July. Even if no one eats it, I still love to make it.
10. I love to bake. Love. When I am in the mood, I will bake whatever sweet thing I think sounds good.
11. On the flip side, cooking isn't that great. I am a good cook, but don't really like cooking.
12. I rarely remember my dreams.
13. I don't remember the last time I didn't wake up at least once at night. I think it was somewhere around month 6 of my pregnancy with Miles.
14. I love having my toenails painted. They make me feel pretty.
15. I have a weakness for Reese's. especially the holiday ones with extra peanut butter. Yum
16. I hate most bugs and am scared of cockroaches.
17. I constantly wonder if I'm doing enough and being enough. Especially for Miles. Motherhood is filled with worries and doubts for me.
18. I don't have a favorite movie. I like Disney movies, but don't really have a favorite.
19. One of my favorites places to go is Disneyland. I LOVE going to Disneyland. It is a blast!
20. I hate being late. It irritates me so much that when others are really late it makes me mad. I can understand up to about 15 minutes, but more than that and and I feel like you didn't care enough to show up on time. There are always circumstances that make lateness ok, don't get me wrong. I am understanding, but I hate being late myself, and just wish others would have the same consideration for me.

30 things I'd like my children to know about me

I was searching pinterest and came across this idea that I thought would be fun to do. I haven't blogged in awhile, but this would give me a great topic to keep blogging on. I'm going to start blogging on this list. I'd like to do at least one a week, sometimes more, sometimes less.... I guess depending on how miles does all day. Here's the list-

30 things I'd like my children to know about me:

1. List 20 random facts about yourself.
2. Describe 3 legitimate fears you have and explain how they became fears.
3. Describe your relationship with your spouse.
4. List 10 things you would tell your 16 year-old self, if you could.
5. What are the 5 things that make you most happy right now?
6. If you could have three wishes, what would you wish for?
7. What is your dream job, and why?
8. What are 5 passions you have?
9. List a few people who have influenced you and describe how.
10. Describe your ideal day.
11. Describe 10 pet peeves you have.
12. Describe a typical day in your current life.
13. What’s the hardest part of growing up?
14. Describe 5 and weaknesses strengths you have.
15. Describe when you knew your spouse was the one or how I fell in love.
16. What are your 5 greatest accomplishments?
17. What is the thing you most wish you were great at?
18. What do you think your spouse loves most about you?
19. How did you feel the moment you became a parent?
20. Describe 3 significant memories from your childhood.
21. Describe your relationship with your parents.
22. Where do you see yourself in 5 years? 10 years? 15 years?
23. What’s your favorite holiday and why?
24. What’s your favorite and least favorite thing about parenthood?
25. If you could have dinner with anyone in history, who would it be and what would you eat?
26. What popular notion do you think the world has most wrong?
27. What is your favorite part of your body and why?
28. What’s your favorite quality in your spouse?
29. What are your hopes and dreams for your prosperity?
30. List 10 things you would hope to be remembered for.

Keep checking back to see what new topic I have checked off this list!

Family Update

   1. The kitchen is in our living room and Miles loves it. He plays with it almost everyday and brings me a chef hat when he wants me to play too.

   2. Carl got a couple awards for being great in medical school and we have two dinners to go to. We went to one on Monday and Miles did great! We were there from 5 until 8! He never broke down or had a tantrum.. it was so wonderful. I am hoping for another great dinner tonight!

   3. Miles now says burr when it is cold. It is the cutest thing!

   4. Miles is afraid of grass. I think this is because we don't have any grass in our yard and he hasn't seen any since last summer. We went to the park and blew bubbles and he had to hold Carl's hand the whole time because he was afraid of the grass touching him. It was both funny and sad. Carl remarked that he can't be fearless, he isn't afraid of bugs or spiders so it makes sense he is afraid of grass.

   5. I am doing a 5k color run in two weeks. I think I will be walking most of it since I am doing it with my best friend and her daughter.

   6. I am reading a new book by blogger Glennon... she does the blog momastery and the book is so great. I think after I am done I am going to spread the love and share the book with my friend... I think this is the kind of book that should be shared because the kind of understanding and hope within the book is something everyone can use. I love her blog and I love her book. Her story is amazing and she gives me courage as a mom.

   7. Carl is on his last rotation before graduation. Two weeks of dermatology left before graduation at the beginning of May.

   8. Miles has started signing please and thank you. I am super encouraging this. It is so cute! He says please like you sign bath and he says thank you like blowing a kiss. It is so sweet. He is so smart. I only showed it to him once  and he got it and keeps doing it! I am hoping it sticks!

   9.Carl made Miles a kitchen tower so he can see what we are doing while we cook. I showed Carl the one I wanted at a almost $200 price tag and he took it upon his self to make one for under $50... Miles loves it. It folds up and fits next to our fridge so it doesn't take up a ton of room in our very tiny kitchen. Here is Miles climbing in it

   10. Our zoo pass is almost expired... we have the rest of the month left so I think every weekend will be filled with zoo and aquarium time! We have been so spoiled with having the pass... we have gone at least 50 times and Miles asks to go all the time. He loves to run around and see all the animals. The zebra and gorillas are his favorite. He asks for the gorillas almost everyday now. It is so cool... it makes me wonder if Miles is going to be some kind of zoologist or vet. 

Miles

    Oh my goodness.... looking back, this has been such a crazy year. I started looking back on the posts I've made and I realize that I have been so blessed.

     Looking at this post where we talk about a spot on Miles' heart and about our experience with it, I see that I am lucky my baby is who he is. Miles is the most rambunctious almost two year old. Almost 2 years ago I was so worried my baby was sick and wasn't the perfect little guy I dreamed of. Thankfully Miles is just fine. He runs everywhere, climbs on everything he can, dances to whatever songs he hears, loves water and bath time, and is the biggest momma's boy.

    He really is the perfect baby and even if the spot that came up on the ultrasound turned out to be something, I know he would still be perfect and would still be my little boy. I thank God everyday for such a great little guy. We are blessed to have Miles and I know that whatever children we have after him we will love just as much.

     

 Anyway, I love my little Miles and am so glad that he is ours.